This is the first personal blog I’m sharing here and I’m excited yet also bracing myself Ha! I am naturally a private person but I will be sharing a bit on my platform as a way to push my comfort zone and I believe that some of my personal and professional experiences may be helpful to someone else.
I started writing this blog as a reminiscence of the last decade. I thought - do I start from my last college season or the big curly hair days (see photo lol) or from my obsession with Drake (still love Drizzy) and Lil Wayne's mix tapes (whew!). Then I realized I’d have to write a few chapters and I’m not ready to write allllat.
So I will keep it at this, In the last ten years, I truly came of age. I grew up sheltered, didn’t want for much, Nigerian IGBO conservative parents who came from humble beginnings (If you know, you know LOL).
At 17, I moved to the Bronx to attend Lehman College where I lived with my aunt and two dear cousins for 4 years; these 4 years I believe to be my formative years. In 2010, I got an apartment with my older brother and sister.
The following years, I went to grad school and I experienced many highs and knee-jerking lows. All of those experiences humbled me and built me up and in all of it, I learned Divine Providence and in hindsight, I am THANKFUL for all of it.
From 22 to 32, here are some life lessons I picked up along the way:
RECREATE YOUR STORY
Every day is an opportunity to recreate your narrative. I was at a workshop once where someone said that most people see themselves through lens of what happened to them or perceptions others have of them. That hit me
NORTH STAR
Never make impulsive decisions in the moment but always trust your gut and think LONG-TERM. Decide for yourself the type of life you want to live and every decision should be in alignment with that purpose. Now I’m not even gonna be “preachy” because I’ve lost my sh*t many a times but ultimately I try to stick with this. Reason why - I come from a family of great, smart women, matriarchs, many of them who did not realize their full potential because they were born in a time when women’s dreams were put behind men. I recognized my privilege very early and I decided that I want to live a great life and live it simply (sounds contradictory but it works for me). This is my North Star and I try to stay far from decisions that may deter my moving towards this.
CONVICTION
If you are going to do anything, do it with BELIEF. I could be very “black or white,” sometimes to my detriment. It’s either I’m ALL THE WAY IN or I’m apathetic. There are somethings in my life that are constants — my love for basketball, my family, my appreciation for great team efforts and being a part of a community, and my belief. Even in moments when I am not my full confident self, I’ve always had this unwavering belief that things are working towards my favor. This worldview has served me well.
LOVE
Love is sacred and behind many a great feats, you will find the purest love as the source…Love with all of your heart but do not waste your life and efforts on half-baked love.
HEALTHY BOUNDARIES
This one I’m still learning... People will try you and people will try to tell you who you are b/c we are all human and we are all subjective. To be liked is a great thing but don't let this drive who you are. People will tell you just be yourself and when you are yourself, you will still be judged. So do you!
FAMILY, FRIENDSHIP & COMMUNITY
My parents are getting older and roles are slowly changing, this is a part of adulthood that I'm still adjusting to. Keep a handful of good friends and maintain your old friendships too. Find ways to connect with people who have similar interests. I am so thankful for my Hoop York City Women's team for this. The fact that I am still playing basketball as often as I did in my teens in my 30's is still mindblowing to me.
TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF
In our 20’s, we feel invincible. I was def wild when it came to my eating habits till a year ago. You will need your body in your later age, take care of it now! You will also need your $$ when you are older, SAVE.
In the last decade, the world has surely become smaller. I have traveled many places and experienced many cultures. Heck, I even walked in the Indian Ocean in South Africa, plunged in the Irish Sea in the dead of winter (lol crazy); visited Auschwitz Concentration camp and stepped foot where Hitler’s Bunker once was and spent quality time in my village in Enugu State, Nigeria. All of these experiences have kept me grounded and thankful. I am looking forward to all that is to come. Happy New Year. Happy 2020.
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